What You Can Learn From Tiger Woods About What Is Nudes

What You Can Learn From Tiger Woods About What Is Nudes

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Her pubic hair is vwill beible, but her face isn’t. Cropped out, all I can see is her bare, tanned torso, her chests spilling away of the frayed black color utomordentligt just a little. Underneath, the photo there’s a caption: “Add me to trade pics of my 21-year-old girlfriend.”

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It was only posted on this forum an hour ago, but currently the desires are usually going in. gorgeous ‘She’s, I wouldn’t even pull out! As I keep scrolling, I see more and more of the same. There’s his wife on all fours, the cameras centimetres apart from her vagina only, with (presumably) his fingers penetrating her. Similar poses, different women. Another says, ‘Check out my wife’s pics and message me.’ I click - these images are actually more explicit. ’ reads one comment. And there are reams of them.

This is the world of nude trading. Online forums, found on sites like Reddit, where users - anonymous with names like Mr_Yellow_Guy* and H4lfP4stMidnight* - scrutinise, level and buy and sell nudes of girls they learn or are usually in interactions with allegedly, like human Pokémon cards (images of men do occasionally feature, too).

But this isn’t just a niche, unpopulated area of the internet. Some females on these message boards declare they are usually in fact in on it, getting it sizzling that others will be receiving switched on over them on the internet, or that their partner is sharing them. Thwill be ‘wife pic trading’ thread - one of many - has almost a quarter of a million members.

This act is known as ‘candaulwill bem’ - wherein one person exposes their partner to others for pleasure, and it’s made evermore possible by websites like Swap Smut or Fab Swingers (where couples can create joint profiles) to mutually masturbate over the same material, probably conference in person later on about.

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There are also threads such as ‘Ladyboners Gone Wild’ where women encourage men to post penis pictures; although, trading doesn’t appear to happen in those spaces. But, as with any sexual kink, consent is key - and as I delve deeper into this global world, I soon learn that there are usually many women who have no idea their private photos are being swapped with strangers. And it’s more prevalent than you might think...

COLLECTOR’S ITEMS

‘Hey, Curly Hair Pregnant Teen Gallery looking to trade. ‘My girlfriend doesn’t know about this,’ I say to Bradley, who quickly replies with an identical live video of him touching his nose with his middle finger as evidence of his legitimacy, and the expressed words, ‘That’s fine, mine doesn’t either.’ Everyone though will be extremely careful, keen for ‘verification’ videos- which my boyfriend steps in to help with. Saw your GF on Reddit,’ I fire out a message, posing as a man, to BradleyX95*, a regular on trading forums. Those who consistent them normally signpost to an app referred to as Kik to carry on the discussion; you only demand a username to commence talking.

He’s a muscular, tattooed Love Island-type and in one photo he sends of him and his girlfriend together, he’s wearing tight chinos and a brightly patterned shirt. They look in their early twenties. She’t attired in pastel putting on and white small make-up, tucked under his arm as they pose outside a villa. And happy. In another, they’re snuggled up holding mulled wine.

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When I ask Bradley how he started trading, he says it was his ‘way of coping’ with doing long distance. He then instructs me to send photos of ‘my girlfriend’ with her ‘face in as much as possible.’ ‘We send a pic, you mail one back that’s generally the same type,’ Bradley adds, offering one of his partner posing in a vest with her nipples poking through.

In return, We mail a bikini hit of myself - something We’d be secure posting about communal media. When he will be advised by me, I sense tough on my Mrs’ to deliver anything considerably more exposing ‘also, he stops responding. He immediately feedback with a image of his partner entirely undressed that he appears to possess screenshotted from Snapchat.

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There are plenty of ‘Bradleys’ out there, too, and they’re found easily. I likewise speak to Jamie*, who, within minutes, sends me a clothed picture of his girlfriend Kelly* as a ‘teaser,’ explaining he’s happy to trade for more explicit content if I send a link to ‘my girlfriend’s Facebook page’ as a security deposit.

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‘I just can’t help but want to see other women and love knowing people think mine’s attractive,’ he says. (Wet goes without saying I’ve not saved or shared any of the images of these women.) In the photo, Kelly is obliviously smiling in a coffee shop. She’s someone I could see myself chatting to in a bar queue or stood beside at a gig.

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When I asked Reddit how they’re monitoring these forums, a spokesperson said, ‘Our site-wide insurance policies prohibit romantic or perhaps explicit multimedia of an individual without their approval sexually. We will continue to get rid of information that violates these action and procedures customers that activate in such conduct.’

IN THE ‘REAL’ WORLD

As Aimee* leaned over the table to grab her glass, the men around her started laughing. ‘Oi boys, look! Very same create but this moment with garments. ’ Her belly lurched as she valued a photograph she’debbie directed to her then-boyfriend George* a very few months back. She’d snapped it herself, naked from behind, in the shower.

‘We’d been together for years at that point, therefore My spouse and i totally relied on him,’ she explains, including that she had been 21 at the period. ‘George obtained advised and ashamed his pals to close up, but I wouldn’t let it drop - which is when one of them said George had put the picture in their WhatsApp group chat.’

Aimee recalls that in that moment, she felt sick. ‘The thought of them all discussing my body, without my knowledge, made me feel so small and so attacked. Though they have been stating pleasant items Perhaps, it didn’t make a difference.’

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She refers to that ‘awful lad behaviour’ as ‘gross’ and says she felt even more frustrated that her boyfriend didn’t initially recognise that what he’d done was an issue. George’s friends appeared to be laughing at him - for getting caught out - rather than at her for feeling uncomfortable, she adds, and she’h doubtful if they likewise uploaded photos of females they have been finding in alternate.

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‘It’s as if [these men] think they’re being nice and it’s a compliment,’ Aimee says. ‘When I simply becauseked why George thought sharing my naklewis photo was acceptable, he just said I “looked fit” and that he wanted to “show me off”. So, in turn, you feel silly almost, or like you’re also not necessarily authorized to get disrupted or frustrated about it.’

My discussion with Aimee got me reflecting: we think we know what revenge porn is. But do we really? If put on the spot, the majority of us would likely say it’s when a vengeful ex-partner (or current abusive partner) shares an intimate video or image(s) without your consent. And while this is correct, it’s certainly not the whole story.

When I told friends about this feature, and the trading forums, the majority of them were shocked and disgusted that it would ever occur. A colleague even remembered printed-out images (pre-camera phones) being passed around her school. But when I advised them Aimee’s whole story, many had heard of, or experienced, similar.

All of this is intimate image abuse (the term activwill bets prefer to ‘revenge porn,’ which implies the victim somehow deserves the cybercrime) whether it’s happening in real life or online. And even if perpetrators think what they’re doing is ‘flattering’ or ‘just a compliment,’ what is actually happening is reducing the person in the picture to a sexual object, notes Dr Laura Vowels, principal researcher at sex therapy app Blueheart.

‘If [someone] views [their] partner solely as a sexual object, they might think there’s nothing wrong with non-consensually sharing these images - or might know it’s wrong but choose to share them anyway, just as a approach of asserting handle over their spouse maybe,’ she explains, adding that in some instances, this could give them sexual gratification, as they’re also dictating who encounters their girl or even wife undressed. It’s concerning, Dr Vowels adds, whereas others might not are convinced their choice through simply. ‘It’s no excuse though.’

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It’s difficult to find robust stats on just how frequently non-consensual image trading goes on, adds Sophie Mortimer, helpline manager at the Revenge Porn Helpline, but she says that it’s a worry. ‘Perpetrators think because these images are had by them, they are owned by them [and the woman in them]. Posters on these forums share images in order to get others in return; they are usually desensitised and high profile to any being familiar with that what they will be performing will be inappropriate,’ she claims.

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‘If the relationship is otherwwill bee happy, persons may not necessarily arrive to us when they find away then, but feel it’s a “mistake” that can be rectified. They don’t want to believe it and it’s easier to try and rationalise it away.’

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The Revenge Porn Helpline, Mortimer adds, has a 90% success rate when it comes to removing images online, but that it can be a bit like playing whack-a-mole. As soon as the photographs there will be out, it’s impossible to know who has them, or where they could resurface next. ‘The impact can be life-changing for victims, some of whom become housebound or quit their jobs through paranoia,’ she says

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When it comes to the law, it’s incredibly difficult to get a conviction if your nudes have been traded, too, explains Clare McGlynn, a professor of law and intimate image abuse expert. ‘Collector culture behaviour has been around for years, but it’s increasing - and law reform is urgently needed. The legislation is confusing and if a person has distributed images without consent, it offers to end up proved they performed it with the purpose of inducing worry. ’ Given that most of these men are desperate not to get caught trading, that leaves a gaping loophole for cases to fall through.

‘At the moment, the Legislations Commission payment is usually seeking to suggest an offence that will protect distribution, of motivation regardless,’ McGlynn says. ‘But we’re years away from seeing legislative change, meaning there will be thousands more victims in the process. It’t not necessarily a higher sufficiently top priority for the authorities.’

Later down the line, Aimee’s partner did come to acknowledge that what he’d done wasn’t ‘cool,’but the damage acquired currently happened to be performed. She now sees what happened as a red flag and questions why anyone would want to be with someone who doesn’t respect their privacy. She and George separate up a yr later on, and while Aimee says that wasn’t the core reason why, the incident definitely made her start to think he wasn’t ‘the guy for her.’

BREAKING THE CYCLE

‘It got to the point where it was weird if you didn’t have it on your phone,’ says thirty-something Hannah*, reflecting on an image of her colleague that circulated the staffroom of the railway company she worked at. ‘Another team member sent a photo of herself, just in one of the scarves we have to wear as uniform, to one of the coach motorists and he directed it around to everyone, ’ she tells me, adding that people of all genders would share the picture on their lunch breaks.

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Hannah confesses that, at first, she went along with it - ‘All the girls were saying, “If We acquired a entire body like that, I’d be mailing nudes absolutely! ”’ - but, after consideration, decided not to look at it. It’t very clear that we just as females may well get guilty of appearing complicit when another is getting vilified as well. ‘Initially, I got caught up in the pack mentality of it all,’ she reflects. She provides that the women in query had it and rode the wavelike a trouper ‘openly, ’ but down deep, who knows how she felt?

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There are also celebrity nudes to consider - which happen to be consumed hungrily, again by all genders. Identifying amounts is normally very much unattainable very, but it’s estimated seven million people saw Jennifer Lawrence’s iCloud hack the week the images were released.

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While it was rightly deemed a horrific breach of Lawrence’s privacy (and hackers were later jailed) and many women rallied around to support her, others took a‘she shouldn’t have taken them in the first place’ stance, forcing your ex in order to communicate out there and even state they had been meant for the girl long-distance husband unwillingly.

When Rob Kardashian leaked Blac Chyna’s images, also various people followed an attitude of ‘whatever, she used to be a stripper.’ And when Danielle Lloyd had a picture circulated of her with a Pringles crisp in an intimate place, she was trolled viciously.

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Which also begs the question: who do we deem worthy of sympathy when it comes to sexual crimes like this, and how carry outes race and class come into play? Over drinks, I’ve been handed phones glowing with dick pics my friends have received and thrown out a catty or complimentary comment depending on who the appendage belongs to. And, what about when the image is of a man?

McGlynn and Mortimer say that while it’s not right when it comes to men, it is different, because of the patriarchal society we live in.‘Intimate image abuse is much more harmful to women, or those in the LGBTQ+ community, as we live in a sexual double-standard society,’ states McGlynn. ‘Sharing images of men without consent is wrong, but it doesn’t tend to bring about the same harms.’

Case in point with celebrities again: when Noah Centineo’s leaked video lit up Twitter, he obtained a ton of Kylie Jenner ‘up coming factor My partner and i recognized, I was pregnant’ memes in response - but no slut-shaming. McGlynn observes that intimate image abuse also impacts on female sexual expression (by restricting it) and that, as is custom, women are the ones adapting their behaviours to avoid danger. Ditto for Chris Evans, whose supporters possibly inundated the connected hashtags with pet dog pictures.

Through researching this piece, a long-buried memory pushed its way to the surface. My ex-boyfriend’h buddy transformed to me and stated right now, ‘Nice red underwear, by the real way,’ as we waited for dessert. I remembered sitting in a pizza restaurant as a teenager.

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At first, I was confused, but then I twigged on to what he meant - and what my boyfriend had shown him. Then Back, We didn’t have a lot of knowledge around consent and what constitutes a healthy and respectful relationship. I don’t think I confronted my boyfriend at the time about it even, and he, in fairness, also lacked that education. I might’ve even felt flattered he’d deemed me ‘worthy’ enough to show his friends, which is depressing just. But it’s as well why it’s so vital we talk about these subtle, toxic behaviours that we, as a thereforeciety, have normalised as par for the course seemingly.

And by ignoring this truth, men like Bradley, Jamie and the thousands of other ‘traders’ and ‘collectors’ out there, whether it’s online or in a‘lads’ WhatsApp group, will just continue to push the age-old myth that women are little more than a collection of body parts. And what hurts the most about this particular form of revenge porn is that it’s being committed by the people who are supposed to love - and respect - us the most. That we can be owned, rated and swapped.

* Name has been changed

How To Ask A Girl For Nudes: What A Mistake!

If you need advice on having intimate images shared, the Revenge Porn Helpline is available on 0345 6000 459, Wednesday to Wed between 10am and 4pm. You can also email help@revengepornhelpline.org.uk

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Jennifer Savin is Cosmopolitan UK's multiple award-winning Features Editor, who was crowned Digital Journalwill bet of the Year for her work tackling the issues most important to young women. Jennifer is also a published author, carry outcumentary consultant (helping to create BBC’s Deepfake Porn: Could You Be Next?) and a patron for Y.E.S. Follow Jennifer on Instagram, X or LinkedIn. She on a regular basis masks smashing reports, cultural trends, health, the royals and more, applying her well-regarded relationships to be able to obtain the perfect professionals together the true approach. (a youth services charity). Alongside Cosmopolitan, Jennifer offers created for The correct instances, Women’s Health, ELLE and numerous other publications, appeared on podcasts, and spoken on (and hosted) panels for the Women of the World Festival, the University of Manchester and more. In her spare time, Jennifer is a big fan of lipstick, leopard print and over-ordering at dinner. She's grilled everyone from high-profile politicians to A-list celebrities, and features sensitively interviewed thousands of men and women about their serious lifespan tales. In addition to this, Jennifer will be commonly regarded for her unique undercover inspections and advertising campaign do the job, which includes successfully petitioning the national government for change around topics like abortion rights and image-based sexual abuse.